Do you ever feel boring and stuck in your life? Feel have no friend around that have in common with you? Stuck in your routines and being uncreative in your work anymore, just want to passed out every time you got home? Even you feel unable to exposing yourself because you feel empty inside?
Well, this is what happening in my 27th years and 2nd years of marriage. I’m not saying that i don’t like with my status. I love my husband (like a lot) and i love for being married woman. But the thing is right now i kinda lose my style for being LEDY SIMANJUNTAK. In my youth, i spent time a lot expressing myself through what i like, such as singing, dancing, creating a song, playing some music and even praying. I love doing those stuff but now i rarely doing that because I’m stuck with my daily activity. I know it’s my fault and I’m the one who supposed to be blamed. That’s why i’m writing this to reminding myself what’s wrong with me.
I don’t know what the futures hold, but i know the talent that God has given to me will never fade away. I have to keep that up, but maybe in another dimention. So i still have another years to come, I’m going to continue to grow and my marriage will also last forever. I have to be a happy girl like i used to. I pray to God to gives me strength as a person, as a wife, as a worker. I need to switch myself up as soon as possible, if not i’m afraid i won’t be Ledy Simanjuntak anymore hehehehe..
So guys, I realize maybe i need something to keep me passionate which is related to my hobby. I should keep doing it. To celebrate all of the grateful that Lord has given to me, i sang one of Stacie Orrico ‘s song that inspired me to keep strong, Strong Enough..
I Love You, Jesus. I embrace my 27th years and my 2nd of marriage. You give such a great life, so i think You’re giving me my turn to decide whether i should be happy or not. I’m trying to be happy, Jesus even though sometimes i lose my guts to live my life right now. Somehow i don’t like my life now, because i don’t have any friends like my bestfriends in Bekasi and Bandung and i kinda stuck in my job. I miss my best friend, they make me good about being me. I could sing for Your love and celebrate every inch of myself, but right now i lose it. I try to stand up but i cannot stand by myself, Lord. I don’t know is this life too tough to live in this circumstance or is it just me?
I hope this dark cloud will gone and the rainbow will come to see me and send me its best regards. I have to make a tough decision for chasing what i’m looking for. I don’t want to lose this battle because i know You will make me win. I don’t want to lie to myself that there’s a part of my life that i don’t wanna live. I have to say goodbye to it although it makes me like a stupid. Maybe i should start again from the bottom. Please make me strong Lord, i know You could. I will strong enough if You walk beside.
I will start again, yesss.. I’ll start again even the world against me.